Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML
Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML
Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML
Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML
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Top comments
michelleJ11 25
Did you ask her the explain this logic? I want to know her secret & live until the year 3000. You never know OP, she could be the next Albert Einstein.
soccerstar1996 18
What if OP's daughter created a time machine and plans on traveling to the year 3000 when she turns 30? And she can bring all of their technology and solutions to our time and creates a paradox where our past is more advanced than their future and therefore creates a cycle where the future's ultra advanced technology comes to our time and makes the future even more advanced? BOOM MINDFUCK
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Comments (211)
nunnsii92 9
You may wanna get a maths tutor
jayellef 3
If she's only thirteen sit her down and do some math problems with her. Don't let her think this is correct or else as she gets older she will become more math challenged.
annoyedweirdo 9
Gee your are a mean parent.. I love the stuff children say...and really depends on the age of the child too
AlysonC_fml 1
It's okay. I mean, being the same age as your daughter doesn't mean that I can completely understand her logic, but honestly, all I can advise you to do is sit her down and explain that the average lifespan of a human is 79 years... She'll learn eventually.
AlWAYSN4EVR 13
Being surrounded by idiotic thirteen year olds makes me ashamed of being thirteen too.
ohSNAPyall 27
Show her 'Futurama.'
mali90 5
Blame the school system
outoftown 27
When I was 13, I thought 30 was about the same as "nearly dead."
Monique_operario 11
Lol
C0mmanderKeen 9
I just... really?? What happened to kids today? I'm kind of scared..