Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML
Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML
Today, I was talking with my Grandma, who lives on the opposite side of the state, and congratulated her on reaching 87. She said she was hoping to reach 90. My brain went in a very morbid direction as I quietly wondered if she'd live to 90. She didn't hear it but my dad, her son, did. Apologizing didn't help. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML
Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML
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Top comments
michelleJ11 25
Did you ask her the explain this logic? I want to know her secret & live until the year 3000. You never know OP, she could be the next Albert Einstein.
soccerstar1996 18
What if OP's daughter created a time machine and plans on traveling to the year 3000 when she turns 30? And she can bring all of their technology and solutions to our time and creates a paradox where our past is more advanced than their future and therefore creates a cycle where the future's ultra advanced technology comes to our time and makes the future even more advanced? BOOM MINDFUCK
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Comments (211)
SoLDarkLord53 12
She's at least 12 . So no you have not. Not yet. You have time to correct her. Take away her phone you've no doubt given her and make her do math. Lots of it by hand.
jw90 18
I'd make her explain her logic and watch as she totally mind ***** you.
athos1237 4
At least you can admit it and get help now.
dontkilljay 14
I feel like most kids end up believing at least one thing that's totally ridiculous when they're young. I thought that sinks made water, for example. Plus, your daughter can't be old enough yet for such logic to be a problem if she was born in the late 2000s..
Llama_Face89 34
It's been said before but I'll reiterate the point. Late 2000 not late 2000s. As in December 5, 2000 for example. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp?
SierraCheyenne 8
I'm wondering the same thing... Morons! Morons everywhere!
dontkilljay 14
Woahh crap my apologies, totally misread the original post. Yeah, your kid should know better, as well as serves as a glorious tribute to our public school system.
Llama_Face89 34
Shit happens. Nobody expects someone OPs daughters age to be that retarded.
Enslaved 38
First and only time I said "duh" to one of my parents, I saw so many stars!
slappygecko 21
From that day, Enslaved's cheek was never the same.
Llama_Face89 34
Perhaps even both sets
merik225 14
That is so cute! Hopefully she wasn't serious.
Philintheblankz 14
Clearly your daughter is planning on cryogenically freezing herself in the year 2030 when she will be 30 years old. She's off to New New York to hang with the professor.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
I dun hooded saying I might live to 3000, even though I might only make it to 2100.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Dun hooded? WTF PHONE?
Omniprism 15
This was funny but I wouldn't blame yourself completely. The schooling system isn't what it use to be. Good luck.
Testing1234 25
What she needs is a math tutor!
jkjorn 18
So does Mom! She'd have to be 1000 years old to see the year 3000. Methinks Mom meant the year 2100.. at least I hope so.