Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Gone girl
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Proud dad
Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Step-father, right?
Today, it's my daughter’s 18th birthday. Today is also the day that my husband told me he’s leaving me for her, and he wants a divorce. When I threatened to press charges for potentially grooming her as a minor, he told me I don’t have a leg to stand on because, “She’s been at the age of consent anyway.” FML
Proud Papa moment
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
My kid, the playa
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Snitch
Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML
Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML
Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
in my bed, on your bed, on the kitchen table, In the washing machine, in the sink, In your shower, on the stairs...
california283 6
a rude awakening for what? a rude awakening for actually CARING about you? my parents are overprotective too but it's for my own good. at least they care enough to protect you. some parents don't care about their kids at all..
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Comments (361)
YOUFOMS 0
couldn't have been every were.
nolifefyl 1
lmfao wow
rawwwrrrsheet 0
hahaha boyfriends
zaku2capt 1
Nice...
charvisioku 22
Fyl; that's a really immature thing for her to do. But all the people calling her a **** can go f*** themselves... having sex outside of marriage doesn't automatically make you a ****. I'd be willing to bet most of the people saying it does are American... that seems to be the frame of mind over there from the people I've talked to/seen comments from. Lighten up. Pfft.
horneyhic 15
I think it was more the plural highschool partners that makes them say that
MissWhit27 2
ook where did anyone say anything about sex out of marriage? im a bit confused i thought everyone was commenting on sex under age but w/e... oh and i dont know anyone who has waited for marriage and im American but if someone does want to make that choice for their life who are you to tell them to lighten up? ...just my opinion that is all thanks
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
I hope she didn't go to your room!!
mrwelsh3 0
59 bet your a *****... unless your a guy in which having sex with various women makes you a stud:D
Havin 19
No offence, but your daughter is dumb. I'd give anything to have a dad. But then again being overprotective will want to make your daughter do these sorts of things.
Thebluesteel1 3
tell her all the places you and your spouse had sex, include her bed
butterflyz1961 2
Doesn't she know that being 18 means you can throw her out?