Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML
Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
adameeo 21
Even better than the original!
jojimugo 20
Those godamm BItchy spiders
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Comments (113)
melrose90210 10
That's freakin hilarious! I'm sorry op
carnage45567 10
She is a genius video it and post it on you tube just imagine all the views of the itchy bitchy spider song lol
Akiminurisa 7
I love it. Why couldn't I learn that in elementary school? seems hipster now.
gutoputo 4
Your daughter is epic, be proud of her.
dreamingofawhite 2
Ha! My daughter had terrible speech when she was young and came home from daycare one day singing at the top of her lungs: "FIVE LITTLE ****** FROGS SITTING ON A ****** LOG..." I almost peed myself laughing!
supernothing10 13
Sounds like a country song!
cmac86 24
I'm pretty sure we can call that the new term for black widows.
TheMystery13 13
Oh come on, that is ******' HILARIOUS!! Lighten up!!
Morgan_Loves_You 5
lol xP
Luerna 13
I did the same thing as a kid XD people laughed and thought it was the cutest thing. Don't worry about it! She might even grow out of it, like I have :)