Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Apparently she stood on top of a table and screamed, “I HAVE SYPHILIS” at the top of her lungs. She’s in kindergarten. Where in the world did she even hear that? FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Mom?
Chazzster 32
I assume another child dared or prompted daughter to do that and daughter probably didn’t even know what the word actually meant. While it’s embarrassing, no real harm has been done. The bigger concern is that daughter was obviously manipulated by a “dare” or “challenge”. Lots of people buckle under peer pressure to do or say things that are not in their best interest. It probably means, like most children (and most humans in general), she needs or wants affirmation and is easily manipulated, probably by a “friend” to do things that she thinks will get her liked and admired. (1) Explain to daughter that syphilis is a disease. Show her some pictures of what it’s symptoms look like - I can just about guarantee that if you do that she won’t make that claim again any time soon. And at the appropriate time explain about STD’s and how you catch them and what they can do to you. (2) Explain to daughter in age appropriate terms the concept of peer pressure and the dangers in that. Explain that the people who manipulate others usually have no real liking or respect for the people they manipulate. Explain that a brave person does not prove they are brave by doing what their friends tell them to do. A “dare” or “challenge” is one of the stupidest things you could do. Only a coward is swayed by being called “chicken”. Remember that and don’t let your daughter see you be swayed and manipulated that way.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Mom?
Chazzster 32
I assume another child dared or prompted daughter to do that and daughter probably didn’t even know what the word actually meant. While it’s embarrassing, no real harm has been done. The bigger concern is that daughter was obviously manipulated by a “dare” or “challenge”. Lots of people buckle under peer pressure to do or say things that are not in their best interest. It probably means, like most children (and most humans in general), she needs or wants affirmation and is easily manipulated, probably by a “friend” to do things that she thinks will get her liked and admired. (1) Explain to daughter that syphilis is a disease. Show her some pictures of what it’s symptoms look like - I can just about guarantee that if you do that she won’t make that claim again any time soon. And at the appropriate time explain about STD’s and how you catch them and what they can do to you. (2) Explain to daughter in age appropriate terms the concept of peer pressure and the dangers in that. Explain that the people who manipulate others usually have no real liking or respect for the people they manipulate. Explain that a brave person does not prove they are brave by doing what their friends tell them to do. A “dare” or “challenge” is one of the stupidest things you could do. Only a coward is swayed by being called “chicken”. Remember that and don’t let your daughter see you be swayed and manipulated that way.
IHaveThePower 18
An older kid probably dared her to do it at recess or tricked her into thinking it meant something else. Kids will punk each other, it's normal. That, or you should check what your relatives are teaching her when they babysit...