place town, country In a relationship
Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML
Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML
Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
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