Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
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Top comments
pandabrr 12
Do the same when he's sleeping.
DocBastard 40
Your dad isn't the only one who thinks it's funny. *adds this to List Of Things To Do To My Children When They Become Teenagers And Piss Me Off*
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Comments (66)
Gangsterrface 10
That actually is funny .
Curlytwirly22 17
What kind of ******** dad would do that ?! No offense OP
bloodyinsane 3
my mother has done the same thing. except without the catnip. I know how you feel. ):
keebler28 7
That is funny.
ohcheriecherie 20
well, 18, it is ******' stupid because dogs don't like catnip.
xXBrennanXx 5
did it work
KnightSpawn 2
my brother threw my cat on my face and it scratched the inside of my lip!
puppylover863 3
Do it right back to him! I mean, I would. It'll be hilarious!