nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idontevencareanymore
Jarrell, United States
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Anonymous
Tampa, United States
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Anonymous
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
HeIsKindaRightTho
Houghton, United States
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
yeah why not
Norway
Good question
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
FML
Maricopa, United States
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Anonymous
Zambia
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Top comments
ImKindaABigDeal 6
shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"
cheerchika 0
hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
DocBastard 40
Even if you did inherit it, his abnormally small penis was still large enough to spawn you. Get over it.
ImKindaABigDeal 6
maybe that's what OP is so worried about!
africanelephants 7
obviously it didn't spawn enough of him
Alex94xela 0
LOLOLOL
cin11 0
haha so did u?
tdog_ossim 0
well... did u?
BabyLuis 0
he wasnt drunk :)
FYLDeep 26
Of course he's drunk. You can only expel so much alcohol from your body at a time when you have to force it through such an incredibly small penis.
Gamer_Bum 1
Lmfao!
xdomination 2
lmfao!! xD nice one
cheerchika 0
lol u should of said yes but mine fires lasers (my bf wanted me to say that) lol
jess6blondie9 3
Thanks for sharing?
EmoGiana 0
In my head.. that doesn't look very nice..
bachooka 5
tell your boyfriend those aren't lasers, it's syphilis.
sbjess 8
Lol
dt520 4
pew pew pew!
jacobjackolanter 0
haha bf? poor guy.xDD
gusgus36 5
if you didn't, then there is no FML here...it was just awkward. and if you did inherit it, I'm sure you knew by now that it was small and didn't just now find out because your dad said that...
cheerchika 0
just the fact that his dad said that to him is definitely an fml.
amarie2009 22
Well, did you?
cheerchika 0
haha oh god. agreed
phatdaddy62 23
Like he would have noticed!