nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idontevencareanymore
Jarrell, United States
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Anonymous
Tampa, United States
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Anonymous
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
HeIsKindaRightTho
Houghton, United States
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
yeah why not
Norway
Good question
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
FML
Maricopa, United States
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Anonymous
Zambia
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Top comments
ImKindaABigDeal 6
shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"
cheerchika 0
hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)
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Comments (158)
ceva_fml 1
so... did u inherited the mini-tiny-penis ?
H_E_doubleFML 0
This would be funnier if you were a girl.
creedaddict 9
did you?
MsSoulReaper 27
haha So did you? xD
Bobbert9 0
it's not small just fun sized like a fun size twix, or butterfingers so have fun
Tanya33 1
And your mother had you? Maybe she was expecting growth later on... Still, what a trooper.
MisterMuffinz 13
well my dad beats me when hes drunk so you got it good
bladomas 2
so, did you?
MyApocalypse 1
Why is everyone interested in this guys dick size...?
attatood 8
cuz he brought it up. Wonder if he can get it up or even tell the difference? :P
Igor_g5 0
it's only an FML if you did.