nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idontevencareanymore
Jarrell, United States
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Anonymous
Tampa, United States
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Anonymous
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
HeIsKindaRightTho
Houghton, United States
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
yeah why not
Norway
Good question
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
FML
Maricopa, United States
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Anonymous
Zambia
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Top comments
ImKindaABigDeal 6
shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"
cheerchika 0
hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)
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Comments (158)
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Well, did you?
DeadOnArrivall 0
its only an fml cause you did
enabray138 5
#103 buahahahahahahaahaha
RawrB3 0
O.O... so did you?
Evesapple671 0
AWWWW,u look just like your daddy (:
DaveOnDope 4
Okay, sperm-x swims farthest. Sperm-y swims fastest but not as far. So when you see a guy that only has daughters? Work it out, but NEVER tell this to the guy with all daughters...
rdvfyubuyg 1
I don't get it...
momony_fml 0
You should have said, "no, I got the mailmans extremely large one !!!
lilmissprissNkc 0
More like... Today, my boyfriends dad got drunk and asked if his son inherited the family trait of an abnormally small penis. FML
luvyabunches 1
well?
Cenobyte 10
That sucks. Sorry. I hope you didn't.
mhnilo88 0
it's only an FML if the answer is yes