Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
Omniprism 15
You should go out and say when you get lung cancer I'll be sure not to get you your medicinal weed in tincture and treat form of course.
Sakuraashita 15
Okay, I'm sorry , but when you're doing something you know is illegal, (I'm assuming) you really can't complain about anything that comes of it because those are the repercussions of your own actions.
worldclassrager 41
Well weed is way different compared to cigarettes...I don't know about the United Kingdom but it's mostly illegal
madazphotography 11
I have tried it to and my dad didn't mind but I'm not telling my mum she'll go off her head I'm in New Zealand
meganellenishere 7
Not to discount the harmfulness of smoking cigarettes, but in your dads offense, smoking cigarettes if quite a bit different than smoking weed in that it doesn't impair your mental abilities like weed does. Ydi
natalieeliza 11
You can still develop emphysema from smoking weed. Any smoke in your lungs is bad for you and can lead to long term health problems. That's why I quit doing both.
thatguynamedsky 32
"that hypocrite smokes 3 packs a day!"
iAmPaul 49
Your dad isn't a hypocrite. He's addicted to smoking cigarettes, but he doesn't want you to smoke marijuana. You can't compare the two in that respect.
technomom 5
well at least smoking cigs is safer in the long run then weed. however as child you really shouldent be doing either until your body fully devlopes. when you are fully grown and hopefully our on your own at 24 you can do whatever filthy deadly habit you want beer weed coke cigs. but untill then his house his rules.
Helldemon 32
lmao
BeepBeepSwerve 9
"well at least smoking cigs is safer in the long run then weed" LOL indeed
TheCrispyCat 20
Cigarettes are legal, maybe that's his logic.