Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
mrs_w 3
No offense, but if you can still be grounded, you're young as hell and you still live under his roof. Last I checked, your dad won't go to jail or be fined for smoking cigarettes. I see your point in trying to call him a hypocrite, but your argument is invalid. I'm only 22 myself and I want to tell you to move out, finance yourself, pay your own bills, and then you can smoke all the pot you want. (And before anyone starts with me, no, I'm not anti-weed. I just don't like childish arguments like this.)
ChildrenOfFilth 12
If you're young enough to be grounded, you shouldn't be smoking weed, kid.
DeltaDragonxx 20
you shouldn't of tried weed in the first place, but that's a bit of an asshole move
superspooky 13
OP'S name made me giggle. What's a 'hypercrite'? Clearly if you can't even spell you need to experiment less and study more.
granCanyon 12
Maybe "asshole kid"? How can you judge the situation after a short FML based on the kid's point of view. Maybe OP is a 12 year old kid who fails at school and does absolutely nothing? How do you know the weed wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back? I find it funny that people always suppose that the OP is a good guy and everyone else is the bad guy.
cellycrunk 16
Cigarettes and weed are two way different things my friend.
interesting33 37
Cigarettes are addictive but I THINK psychologically weed can be too. And he might be worried of you trying harder stuff too. Addiction can cause hell for the family members. Better not to risk it and stay away from drugs - it's not worth it I think. I drink alcohol though and that can also have a terrible effect, it can be addictive too. So I don't really know if i can make the drug argument but I really do believe that if you get addicted to it - your life, and that of your loved ones becomes a living hell
natalieeliza 11
Totally agree. Cigarettes and weed are both crutches. If you abuse either one, you won't be able to function without them.
mannatee 19
Not saying you're wrong, but only one of the two things mentioned are legal
Solano2580 24
Cigarettes just damage the lungs and may give cancer, alcohol damages the liver and can kill people and weed, just like any other non pharmacy prescribed drug, is illegal, here is the difference, 2 of the three can get others killed (second hand smoking doesn't count) and you arrested, YDI for using weed, even if it was only once, besides you are..what? 13-17? That is another reason alone why YDI
tayraaah 31
Î