Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
JCRouzer29 27
I do not view cigarettes and weed as that close. YDI
HunterMark 14
YDI but definitely for the wrong reason. Weed is way safer and non habit forming than cigarette. But as a parent, his dad is allowed to make OP a better person than himself.
DASboot1983 6
YDI, YDI YDI.......if you still living with your parents, quit your bitching. move the **** out if you are "grown", then you could do whatever you want to do sonny....******* kids now a days, ****.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
calm down jeez
Dave_Davington 34
What the flying **** is a "hypercrite"?!
SasquatchDeluxe 10
What he did is legal. What you did isn't. BIG difference. YDI
SneezyBear 27
Legal and potentially life-threatening vs. illegal and (with more and more studies) ...not very detrimental to your health. Pick your poison!
Nyx7 24
From the sounds of it, you shouldn't be smoking anything yet but telling you you're a waste of air was just rude and inappropriate
snow_white99 7
Maybe he judged you based on your spelling and not your smoking. *hypocrite
Shad0wjack 6
Suck it up, candy ass. Move out of your parent's house, and you can do whatever you want. I'm so sick of reading about everyone's hypocritical parents, when all you have to do is get off your fat ass and move out. If you're old enough to whine, you're old enough to move out, get a job, and live your life any way you choose. If you want to live off your parent's dime... Live by their frikkin rules, no matter how "unfair" they seem to you.
tazmanmike2013 17
Great comment! Anytime someone starts off with, "Suck it up candy ass", you know it's gonna be good. I've said that exact same line several times myself.
pete9913 23
Any FML that says "I was high, I was drunk, when I was high, I was plastered," is an automatic YDI.
HunterMark 14
Your dad just wants you not to repeat his mistakes and be a better person. If you ever stopped being a whiny sourpuss, and looked for the reasons for his actions, you would understand. To put yourself in parents shoes is hard, but sometimes that's what you have to do to appreciate them.
HunterMark 14
Also seems like you don't know how to spell, so no he is not a 'hypercrtie' dad. Every word he said will be true in near future, not because of weed, but because of your attitude.