Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
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Top comments
Razi_tail 25
It sounds like your dad is a real gem to be around. Sorry you have to deal with such critics when he isn't much better. :/
kelseysking 26
Now that's a hypocrite if I have ever seen one cigarettes do worse damage.
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Comments (178)
ludzidocelowych 4
Your dad is not a hypocrite, you're just an idiot, you're the one who decided to be stupid and do drugs, can't have sympathy for stupidity
lsvxoxo 12
For everyone that is saying that he is stupid for doing drugs, people, it's only ******* weed. It's not like he tried cocaine or something. And yeah a lot of places weed is illegal but, c'mon. Maybe I think different because I'm from the Netherlands, but I think if you smoke weed once in a while it's totally fine. Smoking a pack of siggs, well that is stupid, and you throw away a ton of money.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
most of these people are hypocrites because they talk about how it's illegal but how much you want to bet that most of them have drank alcohol underage..
Axel5238 29
No, just because some have doesn't mean they don't regret it and can't recommend that someone else shouldn't do it as well. It's learning from experience it's part of getting older. That's right up there with don't judge me. Also, this could get the OP arrested and he's living with his parents and like it or not follow the rules of their house.
SneezyBear 27
#154, OP only stated that he "tried" weed - meaning he's probably only tried it once. For all we know he could have simply smoked a puff of it. How do you know HE hasn't regretted it?
WeskerxChris 12
Ground your dad.
jaxsanity____ 8
Dude cigarettes aren't illegal, weed is
quickwing 3
Why the **** would you even consider smoking weed dumbass
qnmt 9
Apparently you still live with your parents, which means you're most likely a minor. That's not hypocrisy... That's protecting your child from drugs. (Yes. Weed is still considered a drug in the UK) And to be honest: Weed is illegal (since you're from UK), tobacco isn't if you're over the age of 18. You totally and completely deserved it!
iateapenguin 27
Heh. "Weed is still considered a drug in the UK" It's considered more of a drug here than it is in the US... :P
MrSweeps 5
Pro tip, don't ******* do drugs. Yeah your dad is a hypocrite with a double standard the size of Mexico, but still, drugs **** you up, and are expensive. You don't need them in your life, and your time and money is better spent elsewhere.
ShenaniganNinja 20
Wait till you're older. I heard a great metaphor someone made about this. Think of your mind as a growing tree. What would happen if you put a tire swing on a tree before it could support it? It would warp the growth of the tree. But if you wait till the tree is fully grown, a tire swing is a lot of fun, and has very little effect on the tree. Also, to all the people who are freaking over the legality, how many of you have pirated a movie or ever done anything illegal? FYL OP.
InTheMagic 3
Fags aren't as bad as weed any way he's the parent you're his kid
Shade1982 21
That's not even remotely true. Especially in the quantities a chain smoker usually smokes...
Bentill1 2
Marjuana kills!!!