Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
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Comments (182)
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
blcksocks 19
I doubt if a 5 yr old would really be able to make out what it is. At that age all they think is "ummmm CAKE!!!!"
xoconnie 8
Yea man u gotta be careful with those subliminal messages. how old is your daughter btw?! because that's just plain weird.
swankmrpancake 8
He probably won't even remember it.
truthbringer007 6
Pictures... Even if he doesn't remember, there are always pictures. One day he's going to look at them and say, "Wait a minute..." ha ha ha
Daftendirekt1 0
Wonder what happened when he 'blew' out the candles... ;)
GroovyGravy 7
129- bless you
BubbleGrunge 18
Instead of putting down your child, be glad your decorating skills are top notch! :)
TrollingP 4
Or do you mean...Top Crotch? *Bdmm Tss*
PerfasarusRex 3
At least she has a secure future in making cakes for bachelorette parties. Screw college.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Why would OP write that about their own daughter? She's not a moron, she's innocent and didn't know any better.
LightningCactus 12
I think she's a tad older than her brother.
relaxedninja 18
She is probably old enough to know better...
Incogneterpeter 1
69 if she made the comment, it's ok though I iced it to look like a rocket ship, then she knew exactly what she was doing and is pretty perverted to do that for a 5 year olds birthday party.....
mduffy08 8
69- She made a penis cake for a bunch of five ear olds. Not innocent. Then she ICED it to make it look like a rocket. Not smart.
TriflingAllDay 6
Pride in your kin, this world is the best.
jackii1313 9
Hahaha. They both go up!
ebonyirony 29
Hey you gotta use the **** shaped cutter somehow.
doctorhook86 25
70: I saw your comment and discovered how uncomfortable I am with the words "****" and "cutter" in the same sentence...
tazeegirl 5
Wonder how many party people noticed. "is that what I think it is?!" 0,0
shybear15 0
Lol I know I would, me and my sister made one for my mom once... Her face=Priceless
ohSNAPyall 27
Well the dad noticed, so it wasn't too subtle.
onlychildFTW 34
Why would you make a cake like that? It seems just weird. But I'm not really that immature so that could be why.
LO388 7
As a fan of classic hip hop, I love that you said "party people".
French_Toast_fml 3
Sounds like a ****-and-ball story.
badjojo49 0
Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Lol
devilcb 5
No we have a weiner
hecallsmedarlin 7
Damn. ^ Beat me to it..
irishboii957 2
Many guys beat it
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
reallytho3 11
The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree..
Mr_Krabs 5
35 - Unless it was ran over by a landmower...
reallytho3 11
I'm sure some of the remains stayed close lol
GovernorGeneral 8
I was run over by a lawn mower once...
reallytho3 11
I don't want to sound like a dick.. But were you still near the tree?
beclaurela 18
Not necessarily. Her mom could've raised her because her mom and dad split.
l23VIVE 17
Way to ruin it.... We were having fun with metaphors and you had to be logical...
Pebbles89 9
62- your comment matches your photo nicely.
LaLince 40
#9: right
KitGrey 4
She should have made it into a bunny
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
F.R.I.E.N.D.S The One With The Cake!
hecallsmedarlin 7
...why?
UltimateGIRness 16
37-that's exactly what I thought of.
Mr_Krabs 5
37 - what season was that episode in?
EMTchic 14
37- that is the FIRST thing that came to my mind ! lmao !
saIty 17
Well you can't help which sperm gets first place.
Tylerdre 6
25- challenge accepted.
BrysGirl27 14
Hahaha your username is my nickname:p
doctorhook86 25
131: If your nickname is "salty", dare I ask who tasted you?
BrysGirl27 14
Hahah well...:p jk it's the beginning of my last name
GroovyGravy 7
131- your name is salty?
BrysGirl27 14
My last name is Salty_ _ _ :) haha it's Filipino