Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML
Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you color coordinating the STD's too? crabs can be red, syphilis green, and the clap can be yellow cause when i think of clapping i think happy.
fisheatsbear 6
is this list like a pokedex? gotta bang em all. xD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (370)
ReiKoko 16
maybe i'm being a little conservative, but isn't 36 people a lot of people to sleep with? O.O if that was my dad, he'd have killed me . . .
bc_ramirez08 0
Soo, she's a **** for sleeping around? But if if it was a boy would it be the same?? Talk about a double standard..
oarisimo 4
lol @ 249. I agree with you. that person needs to get over it. no use getting all worked up.
mrmaks18 7
op your organising skills are soooo good you should impress you dad further and invite everyone round for a party and put the list to practical use
Allie614032 34
Can you all stop ****-shaming? If OP was a guy, would you be calling them a *****? Doubtful. Stop being sexist.
pinkcocainexo 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Absolutely disgusting. You're a used up **** for sure. Good luck finding a guy who won't fall out of you every time y'all have sex. Your parents didn't raise you at all.
Clarence Gilbert 7
what? you rather have your dad lose his mind? be happy thats all u got