Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML
How thoughtful
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Top comments
H3RPxD3RP 0
Better than 50,000 knives in your car
grahambertus 11
I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.
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Comments (79)
bubo_fml 11
Help your Dad out w/ a spork collecting campaign...Plaster your city w/ signs saying, "Sporks for Dorks!!"
vidamasbella 0
the beginning stages of hoarding
TheNewGuy03 29
Now that's a healthy addiction. Next thing you know, you'll press the button to roll the window down, and sporks will spill out of the car like a pyroclastic flow from Mt. St. Helens. |the kid|
Reallukev 0
Love it
ilovenaes 1
Lucky youu...ha
panderluver 0
I wish to meet this interesting parent.
ibebrandy 4
Sporks are the best you can eat soup with the spoon part and then if you want you can eat the chicken out of it with the fork part... That's if you have Chicken Noodle Soup...
MsMeiriona 2
Reminds me that I need to get around to buying that titanium spork from thinkgeek one of these days.
StarKnight 0
sporks are the sh*t
princesssharin 0
...crazy spork dude?