Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML
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Top comments
ItsAnanya 25
You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.
sabrinaacrow 26
Just tell her what it is for her reaction
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Comments (78)
ItsAnanya 25
You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.
Mister_Triangle 21
So miss out on spreading influential literature and a potential bonding experience because OP forgot that "*****" was in the book?
annie_nk 23
The brief mentioning of a ***** doesn't hold a candle to what the rest of the book is about so I dunno why he's so embarrassed.
rockydify 22
Reading > not reading Fight Club is a great work of literature.
sabrinaacrow 26
Just tell her what it is for her reaction
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Tell her it's a weapon....of affection!
annie_nk 23
A weapon of mass seduction.
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
Like she was supposed to remember a specific word like *****. FYL
carry_on 19
This sounds like it would be an awkward parent-child talk but reversed, the only thing that is the same is the awkwardness...
EpicSquishii 21
"It's an extinct bird that was incredibly friendly, thus leading to their imminent downfall..."
annie_nk 23
In context to the book, your comment offers very strange imagery. Especially the "very friendly" part.
grahmagog 14
I kinda think you mean Dodo?
Ambient25 25
Thank you #33 that is the joke
nephilim241 19
You broke the 1st and 2nd rules OP!
Dracoboxer357 36
Considering Fight Club is just that awesome, I'd say explaining what A ***** (not, Your *****) is, is definitely worth it. Still a big Ydi though! ;)
xALEXx_fml 15
Haha awkkkkwaaarrrdddd
SomeRandomGuy15 18
I can just picture someone saying that in real life and taking 10 seconds to say the word 'awkward'.
crammer1 6
Why would you want her to read it anyways? To better understand your generation and way of thinking? You definitely deserve it.
Mr_Satan 11
How about... 'cause its an awesome book?
JACKxRAWR 22
#10, it's a book set about 10 years ago. What the **** are you on about?
Accuraxy 10
If you don't explain this to her now, this sticky situation could stick with you and be lengthened. I suggest you receive the reprocussions of what you did.
kwyk 23
Was this a terrible attempt at a pun? No, really, do tell... I'm actually not sure.
masta1080 5
back to the good ole saying....you shouldn't use words you can't spell.. repercussions *
maosquare 18
I know this is taking the piss but why not, it's fun! It's old.