Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Louisville, United States
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Dragoness11
United Kingdom
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Auberry, United States
How thoughtful
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
phonemenace
United States
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
ugh
Milford, United States
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
sick of this shit
West Grove, United States
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
keyless
Aberdeen, United Kingdom
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Top comments
H3RPxD3RP 0
Better than 50,000 knives in your car
grahambertus 11
I dont know man. They're both some pretty forked up ideas. I hope nothing like that happens to me any time spoon. Its just knife to know that I'm safe at the moment.
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Comments (79)
HeyImPayton 0
This FML made me think of a father and teenager driving around to all the fastfood restaurants in town and the dad demanding a spork.
anjtrg_1112 23
Your dad is awesome. I'm totally going to do that.
ThatoneKaren 0
Let the man have his hobby. Complain when they get inside the house. Now thats a real problem. My mom is a hoarder. She filled my living room with thousands VHS movies, stuffed animals, boxes of clothes, snow globes, guitar hero pieces, a car tire 0.o ( we don't own a car), etc. I don't remember what the floor looks like =.=
mstangchck 9
I don't blame him. Sporks are awesome!
mismonroe 0
I've noticed nothing but the pure awesomeness of your fathers idea.
RoseTintMyWorld 8
Maybe he's saving them in case of an apocalyptic event, saving spoons and forks would be too bulky, so you'll still have eating utensils.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Major rule of surviving the apocalypse: Never carry tons of useless stuff that is deemed worthless in numbers and usefulness. I doubt sporks are that useful after the apocalypse.
RedPillSucks 33
During the zombie Apocalypse, he'll be the only one the zombies don't kill cause he's cornered the market on sporks that zombies need to eat your brains.
ladyLALAA 29
Firstly sporks are an amazing invention, not sure why you collect them though.. Especially in your car, wtf!
dornez 0
have you read "Choke"? that's way better than rocks, dude
A100893 30
Sporks are awesome. I support his collection fully.
SarahSildaSixx 0
A class 5 hoarder ya got there