Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
bexox 0
"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol
GhettoWangstuh 0
omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute
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Comments (64)
GhettoWangstuh 0
omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute
ohno_fml 0
aw **** she has a sense of humor. you should be happy dude
ilovefatcats 12
HAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA WAHAHAH ... I peed a little -_-
bexox 0
"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol
CameronJak 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I use nor and I'm in middle school :)
brittanyrmh_ 12
53 - Do you want a ******* medal, or...?
mikuxxhatsune 32
No they deserve a trophy and to receive a Nobel award.
Lizo_fml 0
That is AWESOME!!
HyperFlirt 0
That is simply amazing! XD She's a keeper.
AcessDenied 0
omg your girl's awesomesauce with a side of ftw sammich. I would totally love it if that happened to me. But, of course, not permanent marker. I'd probably be in a lot of trouble with any job interviews I got with 'NOT NOW' written across my forehead.
FeelMuchBetter 0
Your gf is hilarious! Marry her!
Sofa_King 0
I just fell in love with your girlfriend :D cutest thing ever!
harley07babe 0
Aww! So cute!!
ImALiar_XD 0
your girlfriend is brilliant.