Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Know 0
Should have been like 'Well 99% of the time when a girl is talking to a guy on FB it's because she feels sorry for him. This is part of that 99%'
W76 0
awesome line!
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Comments (100)
redblueviolet 0
If this guy was just a friend and he said that, it wouldn't be very jerky at all, more like a relief, and he is a perfectly innocent person who didn't do anything wrong at all. But since she likes him and it hurt her feelings, that makes him an asshole and needs to burn in hell in spite of the fact that he probably doesn't know how she feels about him as it was. Or what #52 said. No one's an asshole in this situation (well, they may be, but we can't tell from this).
usedusername 0
what a jerk~!!!!! !! lol good burn though you should have come back with something like: "oh thats good because i dont date assholes and i'm 99% sure you fall into that category"
HelloItsSam 0
wow, what an ass! I'd cry, then get pissed, and hunt him down
DameGreyWulf 1
Are you assuming this would happen while on your period or what? Because no really, crying? Chasing him down? lmfao you brat
xenomorph 0
He may be worried that *you* don't like *him* and does not want to take a rejection. You should really ask him.
teiso_fml 0
That's not true, is it? I don't think 99% of the guys I talk to want to go out with me.
Ninjaface 0
Did you know that 60% of all statistics are made up right on the spot?
Palentar 0
is that a crappy pick-up or is he serious? where did he get that shitty statistic from (which is by the way not true).
camipoo 0
oh my gosh thats horrible. then why is he talking to you, he didnt need to say that its uncalled for
jchansfan 0
He's an ass and statistically retarded... lol... 99% of conversations inbetween guys an girls are obviously not all the guy hitting on the girl. What an idiot. lol At least make the joke realistic... Sorry he did that too you though, you deserve better than an idiot/jerk like him... =(
RFreedom 0
maybe he means it in a good way.?!