Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Know 0
Should have been like 'Well 99% of the time when a girl is talking to a guy on FB it's because she feels sorry for him. This is part of that 99%'
W76 0
awesome line!
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Comments (100)
Laura007_fml 0
That's when you say something cunning and witty. Something like "One, don't flatter yourself. Two, why don't you go take it in the ass again since you apparently like being a bitch."
ffat_mo6 0
um the guy who commented on this saying you're ugly and no one will want you is a complete moran and just soooooooo effing stupid. :)
babyboo1592 0
wow wat an ass
Charleene_fml 0
Aw, that's so sad. D:
Trixies100 0
well then **** him!
erwinbear 0
awwwh. what a dick D:
welly_ellie 0
see that sucks! poor dear; I feel for you, it's happened
Alygiiirly 0
lol at 19(:
brknankls 5
lmao there goes the butter
evilqueencathy 0
I'd thank him for his honesty, and then never talk to him again. I'm assuming she wanted to date him and this was his (nice?) way of saying he wasn't interested. Next time he needs help with something, he's on his own.