Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Know 0
Should have been like 'Well 99% of the time when a girl is talking to a guy on FB it's because she feels sorry for him. This is part of that 99%'
W76 0
awesome line!
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Comments (100)
popcorncomics 0
Maybe you were being too obvious or coming on too strong. But hey, at least you know and can move on- or stay friends =]
genius_man16 1
"Today, one guy that I liked told me he didn't like me. FML" Really? Jesus, who cares? You found out he was a dick, this should be a GOOD thing.
tballer33 0
that was dick of him to even bring that up...
Crunchy08 0
oohh burn.
stevenstyle 2
LOL i gotta use that line sometime
DameGreyWulf 1
Why are people saying he's a jerk? He might have just randomly said it and then added "I'm 1% by the way!" so that he didn't creep her out. Or, if he knew she liked him, it could be like what someone else said and he tried a roundabout way to say he just wanted to be friends.
StarRawr 0
What a douche...
procrastinator86 0
that sux, but at least you know where you stand with him. move on
lezdoet 0
oh man im so sorry. :( that's really terrible...
triplethreat13 0
That's terrible, especially because it's not true. It's actually a very low percentage, probably about 20 or 30 percent of the time that's the case. Just stating that fact, to with it what you will.