Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I found out that yet another of my guy friends liked me. I then posted on social media that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Know 0
Should have been like 'Well 99% of the time when a girl is talking to a guy on FB it's because she feels sorry for him. This is part of that 99%'
W76 0
awesome line!
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Comments (100)
thesicmrcastle 0
well i dont agree with everyone you were being honest and not mis-leading. whats wrong with wanting to be just friends anyways
rocker8877 0
I don't talk to girls to go out with them all the time, I just talk to talk
Vaetrus 0
Bullshit. Go piddle your crap elsewhere. Did he say that line after you told him you had a crush on him? Must have hurt.
signupsheetfail 0
Exactly. The only reason I IM girls is becuase I'm wheeling and dealing. If the chick's fat, it's probably because I want to borrow her science notes.
opinionator 0
I'm Kevin Nealon. FML.
Ridyn 0
Hahaha DENIED!!
blland 0
do I HAVE to be your boyfriend if you want me to? geez.
Dr_Know 0
Should have been like 'Well 99% of the time when a girl is talking to a guy on FB it's because she feels sorry for him. This is part of that 99%'
Gruffy 0
Good call #19 lol
xixifwadi 0
Win.
plexico 4
Aw, don't take it wrong, honey, he still might want to have sex with you -- he just doesn't want to be seen in public with you. That's all; that's not so bad.
palleas_fml 0
you sure know how to soothe an aching ego ^^
boone_fml 0
It's pretty clear to me that he wouldn't have said that if he didn't want to bone.
plexico 4
I wouldn't be so sure, boone, It looks to me that he MAY be saying that he might want to bone her if they can't do it in private and doesn't tell anyone about it. Even a playah can't be known for boning slags.
plexico 4
After guessing what that means and then consulting UD to confirm, YES! That is what I am saying.
blastvortex 4
Well, if you didn't think he might turn you away, then you really didn't know him very well. Infatuation isn't exactly a virtue. BTW, this isn't an FML even in the most minimal of terms.
famas48 0
YDI, for being fat and ugly!!!
RatIsKing 0
maybe it doesn't mean that he thinks you're ugly. maybe he just thinks of you as a good, or a reliable person that he feels he can talk to comfortably. OR maybe he likes you, but doesn't know if you like him back, and he just doesn't want to ruin your friendship. either way, don't take what've said personally.