Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Being gay doesn't stop you from looking.
\ 28
Everyone is a little bit.. curious.
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Comments (104)
Elmo_83 3
maybe she likes you lol
whatthefreshhell 15
Whenever I like someone I accuse them of peeping on me in the shower
adammeyer 4
That sucks. That you're gay that is.
whatthefreshhell 15
Why does it suck?
Bakarra 22
Lol this is 2013 bro, time to be a bit more open minded. *grabs shovel*
perdix 31
You could have fantasized she was a "chick with a dick." It's funny that you don't deny staring, you just say that you don't have a sexual reason for staring. It's still creepy -- cut it out!
Ray_of_midnight 23
Most men who are sexually attracted to transwomen consider themselves straight. Whether they are or not is a hotly-debated topic, and I'm not going to open that can of worms here. However, transwomen *are* women, full stop. The polite term, BTW, is "transwoman". The terms "chick with a dick", and the related terms, "she-male", and "tranny", are chiefly used in the context of the adult-entertainment industry and are considered insulting by most transwomen.
perdix 31
#92, and there's the proverbial turd in the punchbowl.
cxex 23
The implication is that no, he didn't stare through her window.
01Ben21 10
Tell her that you were making sure she hasn't been skipping out on the gym.
DBallin 10
Well... were you?
allie2590 31
Does anyone else notice the extra "the"?
perdix 31
#26, no, not until you pointed it out. Good eye! #36, there are two "the's" before "street," at least until the time of comment #40 or so.
DBallin 10
#41 - did you miss the the point of #36's comment?
JackieoftheChan 4
Lol
Kuhu1993 21
How does she know you were leering? Looks like she keeps an eye out.
delaneyluke 5
Did you reply.. "Guiltyyyyyyyyyy"
Freethaawave 19
Loving the Family Guy reference!
redbeard9990 7
You deserved it