Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Being gay doesn't stop you from looking.
\ 28
Everyone is a little bit.. curious.
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Comments (104)
unixdude 9
Break her jaw. Problem solved.
NurseNasty 12
Slap her back and tell her she's such a hot looking dude that you couldn't help it.
meaganxo 14
I feel ya. People think I flirt with guys all the time, when I myself am a lesbian
GlitterGoddess 6
Call the cops and file a report on her bitchass. Do not let her get away with that shit.
wvcheesehead1 9
Apologize, say you were so curious as to how someone got a bovine in the bathroom that by the time you realized it was a woman you had been caught. Make sure you have dental coverage first.
Sperino 4
Queer
Jlow17 4
Did u tell her ur gau
Lunasis 14
I bet you anything all the ydi we're homophobes and closet cases
jollyton 10
She just wants to feel appealing.. She probably lonely
xRezSynn 15
Thats no excuse! But... A window in the shower area?