Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML
Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML
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Top comments
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Report him for sexual harrasment.</p>
Talis99 26
And now that dumbass gets fired. Inappropriate, creepy, intolerant... You definitely need to report him.
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Comments (40)
infinitemonkey 21
Two words: H and R.
amarie2009 22
<p>Report that douchebag!</p>
LudicMonster 22
<p>Smells like a busy day for your company's HR department</p>
lemonlaide 9
Report him for sexual harassment! How the **** does he think he has the right?!
AKchic 7
<p>Make a back-up hard copy AND a digital copy. Report to HR immediately afterwards.</p> <p>Good luck.</p>
Clay201 4
Even Donald Trump would agree that this is way, way over the line. If HR drags its feet, tell them you're going to talk to a lawyer. There is no way they want this to end up in a court room.
BlueJuly 3
I am pretty sure that cosntitutes sexual harrasment...
ILoveDecim 13
Report his ass for sexual harassment!
wickedgetz 30
wow that is more than a hint
randybryant799 21
Just curious. How could you possibly know that you're the only lesbian he knows?