Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML
Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Report him for sexual harrasment.</p>
Talis99 26
And now that dumbass gets fired. Inappropriate, creepy, intolerant... You definitely need to report him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (40)
jcash52426 5
Maybe that her way of saying that she like you. She may be psychotic but I think she likes you
GhostFox 34
The creeper in the post is male. As OP is a lesbian, she is completely uninterested in him in any sexual or romantic capacity. It is likely that the only "interest" OP has in him is about how creepy his behavior is. Not that this kind of behavior would be anymore acceptable if the creeper were a woman. Or from anyone.
evilplatypus 39
He
BrotherPhil 35
He.
jbuckets_404 39
<p><a href="../user/524756619">jcash52426</a>: her co-worker is a guy, not a gal....</p>
samomaha 17
<p>OP, you need to turn him into HR for sexual harassment. Don't hesitate, this may just be (heaven forbid) his "first step". Stop him in his tracks before he does worse.</p>
BurnInDemonFire 39
<p>Here's what you do: Play along, go to his house, tie him face down on his bed, push a double-ended ***** halfway into his ass, then leave a note for whoever finds him telling them that dogs sexually arouse him.</p>
ohsnapword 21
<p>I'm going to guess at the very least he is a good writer. It kept you engaged enough to identify the traits of the characters in the story and you counted every word.</p> <p>Seriously, on the creepy scale, that's about 11/10.</p>
hornedreaper 2
<p>Edit the story with you using a strap on and return the present</p>
num1piglover 13
Report him.
protoskore 27
<p>Restraining order</p>
Etweens96 25
Time to report the dumb ads to Human Resources.
73012211 17
Please please please bring it to HR. Chances are you aren't the first person he's done this to. It's so inappropriate for him to give you that, especially at work. You have the right to work in an environment free from that kind of harassment!