Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML
Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML
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Top comments
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Report him for sexual harrasment.</p>
Talis99 26
And now that dumbass gets fired. Inappropriate, creepy, intolerant... You definitely need to report him.
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Comments (40)
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Report him for sexual harrasment.</p>
Talis99 26
And now that dumbass gets fired. Inappropriate, creepy, intolerant... You definitely need to report him.
lexiieeex3 32
Not only is that wildly inappropriate and clear sexual harassment, but it's also just extremely disrespectful. And honestly, who the **** would think that would work?
Helen790 2
<p>I really want to know what the resolution of this situation is.</p>
GhostFox 34
Report him ASAP. Make sure to get a copy back from HR while you are reporting it, so they can't "lose" the evidence. Getting the paperwork together for a restraining order might be a good idea, because the kind of person this guy sounds like aren't known for dealing with rejection and being called out on their behavior very well.
kirkaygri 18
Copy it yourself before taking it. And back it up in digital form. This screams warning sign to me.
kirkaygri 18
Copy it yourself before taking it. And back it up in digital form. This screams warning sign to me.
RichardPencil 32
I wonder if he used work resources (computer, printer, paper and time) to create this ****.
rinzlerkitty94 31
That could get him in even more trouble.
Dave_Davington 35
<p>Aww, how thoughtful of him.</p>
Inkoseh 33
<p>Now you can give him the return gift of HR!</p>
Ross Geller 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
<p>"Whom."</p>
CrazyAndIKnowIt 5
<p>He gets zero marks for intelligence but full marks for creepiness as well as his dedication to it ;-)</p>
InnocenceBlue 38
So, so creepy. Report the hell out of him. It's incredibly disturbing that he'd not only have that thought, but voice it to you AND in the form of an 8000 word story.