Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML
Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML
Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML
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Top comments
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Report him for sexual harrasment.</p>
Talis99 26
And now that dumbass gets fired. Inappropriate, creepy, intolerant... You definitely need to report him.
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Comments (40)
princesscorkey 16
<p>Make a copy. Give the copy to your work along with your complaint. Keep the other copy in case your work is run by ass holes who don't immediately fire this cretin. Do whatever is necessary with it to ensure your safety.</p>
devans00 14
Eww eww ick. You have my sympathies OP. Even if the characters were generic, the whole situation is inappropriate for the work environment.
noreallywhat 17
Time to have a talk with hr and file an initial police report so that the local authorities are aware that this situation exists as it is potentially dangerous
Fa1lenAngel 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
<p>It's a joke, not a dick, stop taking it so hard up the ass.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>Lol jk probably not a joke but I just wanted to make that pun.</p>
GoddessMadoka 12
<p>TOTAL breach of workplace ethics. Sexual harassment. Report him, get his ass fired. Don't "feel sorry for him."</p>
EmberLynnDove 2
Can you say sexual harassment lawsuit? I'd report the co-worker as that is not ok
Nissi 17
<p>Oh my gosh, that's so creepy!</p>
mickel420_fml 0
I get you being weirder out, but, a story is a story. HR can't do anything based off a story written. And how do you know you're the only lesbian he knows? Are you the only lesbian on this earth? Have you thought of returning the book and letting him know it made you feel uncomfortable? Probably not.......
GhostFox 34
@Mikael420 The guy typed it up himself, and uses OP's name and physical description in the "work." He gave it to her at work, which is the setting he used. He put himself as the male character. He had the female character that has OP's name and body also be a lesbian, meaning he knows that OP is a lesbian. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that a "story" about him "fixing" OP with his magic heterosexualizing dick would make her uncomfortable. And it DEFINITELY isn't appropriate for work. T
GhostFox 34
@Mikael420 The fact you think that it'a "just a story" is really ****** up, and I can't tell if you're that naïve or just that much of a dick. The fact you seem to think that OP should just passively accept him essentially novelizing his corrective rape fantasy and shoving it in her face doesn't say good things about your character.
mickel420_fml 0
And sadly, if you try attacking him with sexual harassment over the book, a lawyer can fight it as " all likeness is purely coincidental".
mickel420_fml 0
But it IS just a book. And nowhere did I say I was ok with it. I'm just giving you a realistic outcome. Just the way things are. I did not say she should accept it, I said to return it and let the "author" know it had made her uncomfortable. Or did you miss that???