Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
So I'm guessing they don't call those lil waist pouches "fanny packs" in the UK lol
carleigh2424 0
Hahahhaaaaa!:)
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Comments (308)
trishmonster 12
that's americans for ya!
TayLovesMattx3 0
thats hilarious xD
conman531 23
Anyone who says Americans are stupid, according to English research, the US is approximately 9 or 10 years more advanced in the English language. Basically, terms in America will eventually catch on in other English speaking countries.
marinaim 17
Bullshit. No such 'research' exists.
ruusk 6
I believe I read that Americans are near the bottom of education leagues compared to other countries (as England is I supposed) but England invented the English language, so your notion is fooked :)
Ilikethenamesam 3
it does O.o
FuckOurLivesFOL_fml 0
Haha
1two3four5six 23
Americans are dicks. I was born in UK and then my mum moved our family to USA when i was 4 and people were making fun of me and my accent. Like EVERYBODY I KNEW THERE. Then we moved back to UK and some people made fun of me ( since i was Americanized now), but way less. And then we moved to Texas in USA and people are making fun of me again. Life sucks and americans r assholes!
megandezerae 6
Lol sweetheart, chances are, since you were 4, It was probably older people? If they were, they probably thought you were cute. And you need to realize that people make fun of people all the time. It happens. You really shouldn't be singling out Americans because to be honest, it pisses me off. You're just singling out what you've experienced. Next time, please don't be so ignorant.
KRYPTON1T3 5
Made my day
runnergirl89 8
@ 289 Quick question, why do you keep moving back then? Besides that, my ex-bf did the same thing as you cept popped into Puerto Rico first and we started dating because i made fun of/ adored his accent. Most people find accents awesome, they make you sound smarter or sexier. I feel like an American accent would probably just sound stupid so be happy you're British!
kidclarke 15
I have never heard an American use "fanny."
jkp1291 25
I nvr did understand y they were called fanny packs they just became a lot dirtier