Today, following a 6-hour roundtrip after having lost both games from a baseball doubleheader, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my 4-year-old son was still up. After updating him on the day's results, he went off to bed with the words, "Good night, loser." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of an argument with my wife, our autistic son started calling out tennis scores, which turned out to be his way of keeping score of who was winning the argument. Apparently, by the end, it was 40-love approaching server's deuce point, which I think means I lost the argument badly. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, for the fourth day in a row, my nine year-old son dragged his feet when it’s bedtime with any excuse he can come up with. He keeps getting up an hour later to tell me a story. No punishment, nothing works. I gave up and offered him $300, yes $300 cash, to go to sleep. He said no and ran to bed crying, saying I upset him. FML
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
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Top comments
Maximusmime 20
You need to teach him some manners.
NYM88 26
Perhaps he did not have any ill intent but was merely being truthful. Or he was just being a little arse. Either way FYL.
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Comments (25)
Maximusmime 20
You need to teach him some manners.
orangejubejube 20
Well, he's accurate..
NYM88 26
Perhaps he did not have any ill intent but was merely being truthful. Or he was just being a little arse. Either way FYL.
captain_hero89 22
time to play a game with him and show no mercy!
Dave_Davington 34
Why are we suddenly getting FMLs from a month ago?
Kalilahshmeow 8
Because **** our lives? Glad to hear it's not just me, I thought I was doing it wrong.
Dilexar 26
its the foreign or international fml or whatever its called. it was posted in german a month ago, and just got translated and posted to the recent here
mylonius 19
Good night
RichardPencil 32
Well, this should serve as motivation for you and your teammates to practice harder so you can win. Or at least to bribe the umpires to "keep it close." Your boy will be more successful either way.
latenerd 11
No, this should serve as motivation to sit down with his boy and talk about respect and tact. Everyone loses sometimes. Not everyone is a douche about it. Especially to his father.
torrea 19
Eww, I have an 8 year old. They can be brutal. My son asked me which dinosaurs were around when I was born. Smh
deltax 8
tbh, that was probably an honest question. We don't know until we re told
GhostFox 34
That sounds like someone taught him to say that, almost. Unless he's just one of those kids that doesn't quite yet understand that words can hurt. Though he could also just be a brat, I suppose.
domolovesyoshi 33
That's kids for you, absolutely no filter.