Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML
Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML
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Top comments
justanotherbird 19
That's hilarious. My sister tried that, but I knew it was her.
Brittneyyyy 7
And I hate it when people hate people who are smarter than them. And to Kaity111, that is actually a good source of information. You should get used to dealing with people who are smarter than you, because you're going to run into them a lot.
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Comments (138)
justanotherbird 19
That's hilarious. My sister tried that, but I knew it was her.
aliaskis 3
Too bad her boss didn't know that sulfur barely has a smell. Otherwise she would have said "something smelled like hydrogen sulfide" since that is what actually causes the smell people attribute to sulfur.
doctor_itsmylife 3
nobody cares you're a chemistry major :))
sexybeastsexybea 0
somehing about 24 makes me think she's fat.
kaity111 0
buahaha! I hate it when people just shit out random facts that they probably just saw in a discovery channel video or something! Just to look superior to other ppl!!
labratory5 0
sulfur like really
Brittneyyyy 7
And I hate it when people hate people who are smarter than them. And to Kaity111, that is actually a good source of information. You should get used to dealing with people who are smarter than you, because you're going to run into them a lot.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
thank you #24 I didn't know that....and I've suffered through many a Chem lab. Thank you for sharing the "something new" that I will learn today so that I'm smarter tomorrow. To the rest of you haters, shouldn't you be watering your plants with Gatorade or something. It has to be good for them, duhhh it's got electrolytes! (please don't ask what that has to do with anything if you haven't seen the movie idiocracy)
sloaan 0
Yes 52!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
57-What does that have to do with anything? I haven't seen idiocracy. Now explain. OP you should have lit a flame near your buttox when it was coming out. I imagine a giant fireball. I don't care if I'm wrong I'm 'jus sayin'.
rallets 23
ive seen idiocracy but it had nothing to do with any of this
FMLRelapse 4
57 was calling them idiots
rallets 23
you shouldve told her "stay, you dont always know where you stand, til you know that you wont run away, theres something inside me that feels, like breathing in sulfur"
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
what 24 posted I learned in 6th grade. so, maybe private school wasn't all that bad.
doctor_J 0
#52 gets the "Win of the Day" award
MidgetMonster 0
adorable husky!
Iskaria 0
Yea 90, I learnt that in 1st year Combined Science (age 11-12 for the non-Brits). It was a Grammar School, but the basic curriculum doesn't vary that much from a run off the mill Secondary School. Also (I didn't catch the number), most 'bosses' in N. Ireland aren't particularly intelligent, they just know the specific business in which they work and have adequate skills in organising people below them. As for the ability to retain and spew random facts on command, my fiancé's IQ is 15 points less than mine, and he does it constantly, much to everyone's irritation. The only time I share them is when I feel particularly compelled to correct him (or someone else for that matter). Therefore intelligence doesn't seem to be a factor in the knowledge of random facts. However always knowing the correct fact on demand is a skill worth having.
Carbonite2010 0
zing!!!
saeho 0
did u just come out of the oven?
kaity111 0
Okay I totally respect peoples opinions but I'm a straight A student I'm not stupid like some of you think, I just think that ruining a good fml because you think whatever scientific shit you have to say is worth us reading is really dumb!
seanders 10
Laity: It's easy to get straight As when you're still repeating grade 4.
seanders 10
Kaity: It's easy to get straight As when you're still repeating grade 4.
victimization 0
straight a's in electives don't count and neither does rounding your grades
kaity111 0
Haha I'm not gonna lie the fourth grade shot at me was pretty funny but I'm actually in high school I've never repeates a grade so **** off did you even consider my original point?
aliaskis 3
Yes, Kaity, we saw your original point: that you dislike learning new things in unconventional ways. That fact was something I learned in high school and remembered because it was interesting that all my life people referred to something incorrectly. It is immature of you to become annoyed with someone for "******** out" information that you don't know, purely for the reason that you don't want to learn new things. Instead of cartoons, maybe you *should* watch the Discovery Channel. To the guy who assumed I am fat: take a look at my profile pic and judge for yourself. If you think that is fat, you have unrealistic expectations for women. I am content with my physical features regardless.
kaity111 0
I go onto FML to laugh and get a break from all the annoying, self righteous people at my school. Listening to all their racist jokes, all the constant bullying, and the "I'm better that you' attitude really sucks. So you can imagine that it is pretty frustrating to get on FML only to come across people like the jerks at my school. And you can stop taking shots at my intelligence, although I laughed a lot when I read the one about fourth grade and rounding my grades!
deathcab7 0
okay, kaity, all highschools are full of jerks, fml is still a site of comic releif regardless of the informative comments, which everyone enjoys, besides you. you make yourself sound unintelligent with your approach, but i understand what you mean.
makennaj 0
#97 i suppose they did not teach you proper grammar or you would know that it's learned not learnt.
Cinn_fml 23
Makennaj, I'll give you a quick lesson: In the UK learnt is valid.
dancebabe34 0
agreed lol
inurfacerotflol 0
#44 people are probably just superior to you, I'm 13 and I knew that because a give a rats ass about my education, that's probably why I have already received several awards from Duke University and been invited to Vanderbelt and been able to turn them down to go to MIT.
marytodd0618 0
That's so funny, but really gross...
haquai 0
Does that mean it was your vag? I don't get it.
twinny_sc 13
It was a fart.
mfmylifesrsly 30
maybe it was a queef?
GuitarNukka520 5
I'm with 19 on this one.
SettoFail 9
queefs don't give a smell.
Iskaria 0
And if she did, I don't care HOW dirty she is, it shouldn't smell like rotten eggs -.- lol
adamtv1111 0
hey what's up
unidentified_sta 5
Didn't she notice something rotten about your behavior?
haquai 0
Ew
seldom66 16
Ydi for not bathing.
youfailed18 0
Bathing?? It wasn't her body odor, she farted. Use some common sense.
hxcxrocker93 3
You're an idiot -.-
victimization 0
lmao
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
I don't know man...guess you have to stop shoving sulfur suppositories up your ass?
kaity111 0
hahaha! This guy! its always fun to make potty humor clever(:
ed057 2
not!
DocBastard 40
If you work at Starbucks, it was probably the coffee. That shit is...um, shitty.
CoolAsian 0
Starbucks is the best what are you talking about!!!
DocBastard 40
If by "best" you mean "most hideously disgusting dreck ever to be called 'coffee,'" then yes, it's the best.
Zebidee 9
Starbucks recently had to close 70% of its stores in Australia, because Australians have a proper coffee culture, and weren't prepared to drink that swill. Their story is now used in business courses as a lesson in how not to enter a new marketplace.
firemanrob 0
Dude I ******* love starbucks :)
Mehness 0
49 - And let me guess, when you go there you get the "Double foam latte with extra cream and five sugars"?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I knew there was a reason I liked you, Doc. ;) Starbucks burns their beans all to shit. Kills any subtle flavors and the caffeine.
cinnn 0
Doc your daughter has BuCk teef
sourgirl101 29
TIJD, I just remembered that you and your daddy are really picky about their coffee!(: I guess my Ginkgo Biloba vitamins are working!
Iskaria 0
I completely agree, Starbucks coffee is vile. There isn't a huge coffee culture in Northern Ireland, but the other half and I do love a good cup of coffee (it's very uncommon here to have coffee machines at home, and we do). The Starbucks cafés here are reserved for the pretentious pseudo-businessmen who in reality work bottom rung in a bank, yet insist on pinstripes and slicked back hair, and the 'emo' crowd of mid-late teenagers. There is far better coffee to be had in places that don't even advertise it. Oh the single redeeming quality; those lightly cinnamon-y iced pastry roll things... purely because they are so hard to find over here. :(
grumpybarista 0
Starbucks is a great business. Crap coffee, but great business.
TerrorDollie 0
Ew. But what could smell like sulfur??
Cinn_fml 23
Gone off eggs. Hydrogen sulphide is the smell of rotting eggs. Other sulphur compounds smell similarly bad. But chances are, as the OP said it was her, it was a fart. OP - You were probably wasting your time, chances are your boss knew it was you. But at least you tried to keep face, so you know, just carry on and act like it didn't happen. I doubt people'll be asking you about it.
stfuscrub420 0
Lol you smell