Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Klutz
Today, my klutziness reached a new level. I was walking down a flight of stairs, sneezed, and proceeded to fall down, scraping the crap out of my knees and spraining my dominant wrist. FML
Do not attempt this at home
Today, I attempted to show off my juggling skills at a family gathering using oranges. One slipped out of my hand, hit a shelf, and knocked over a picture of my parents. The glass frame shattered, and now my family thinks I have a vendetta against their marriage. FML
Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Walnut head
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Are you OK?
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
At least they care:)
Psych101 9
If OP was on that show, don't you think OP would be... you know... dead?
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Comments (93)
loserboii 11
Sounds like you would be on A Thousand Ways To Die
ImJK_fml 0
He's more likely to be on video gag
Psych101 9
If OP was on that show, don't you think OP would be... you know... dead?
falloutboy97 16
OP is a girl.
littlemsweirdo 12
No.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Yes.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Probably.
gc327072 31
Nah, either on Tosh or Country fried home videos. "Here's your sign...."
12GaugeTurtle 1
Well do the stickers work?
12GaugeTurtle 1
Well do the stickers work?
Dixbfloppin 11
But everyone I've ever seen one that show had it coming. On a related-ish note: Why are people hitting the "You deserve it" button?
OhDearBetrayal 25
64- It's for her own safety, that's why. If she's clumsy, it was a thoughtful thing on her grandparents part to do that.
Teyros 24
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger :). Hope your okay after the accident OP. :(
Teyros 24
You're*
deadxwedding84 5
Actually what doesn't kill you horribly scars you for life.
RadikulRam 16
HIV, Herpes, Polio just to name a few.
AznSamoan52 10
It's what doesn't kill you usually succeeds a second time.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, unless you become a vegetable.
thgiL 9
Whatever doesn't kill you will come back around and get ya next time.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
L is a letter! Yay! *claps* Edit: disregard this comment, the original comment was deleted.
DespairFaction 11
So that glass door I walked into on my way to take pictures at my moms wedding made me stronger? Haha. It's ok OP it happens sometimes, I was like 9 when it happened to me.
Meettitan 14
Unless something is wrong with you, you learn from your mistakes. So in a way what doesn't kill you, could make you wiser, making you stronger. Had to contradict the thread. :D
Meowingtons500 18
What doesn't kill you can leave you in a paraplegic state.
domking1315 20
Annnnnnnnd the song's stuck in my head
brackaman 18
So 50, what you're saying is that if somebody gets hit in the head from a falling rock and almost diss but instead just suffers severe memory loss, they've actually become wiser? Sorry, I just felt like continuing the thread.
Quinn32 16
What doesn't kill you only prevents the inevitable.
gingerwithsoul_fml 6
Am I the only think of Kelly Clarkson's song "Stronger"?
TheMystery_fml 6
Whatever doesn't kill you, just hasn't finished the job.
Prodigy7 4
60, that makes no goddam sense.
weasel123 9
What doesn't kill you leaves you vulnerable for a second attack.
capper44 18
I bet; What doesn't kill you, it didn't intend to.... Coz if it did then it would have killed you!!
Osito2011 9
What doesn't kill you, will try try again
WCARlover 35
At least they care:)
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
Those glass doors will get you if your not careful
brackaman 18
For the love of mother earth.. YOU'RE. I swear people are doing this on purpose now...
buck33 14
Reminds me of the (windex?) commercial with the birds that go for the pie and hit the window.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Try paying a little attention to your surroundings.
Krirn 21
She does, she found the stickers.
moemoney8888 7
Ur a fail...
Pentium_4 27
you're about to get slammed by at least 5 grammar nazi's.
Shrike 24
5- *You're a failure. 11- *You're *Grammar *Nazis.
Psych101 9
I can't tell if 11 edited his comment, or if 15 is an idiot.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
15) Overkill. 23) He edited his comment.
Shrike 24
He didn't edit it. He just can't capitalize or pluralize properly, hence the corrections. And it was all tongue-in-cheek, you over-sensitive wusses.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Sorry, ran out of time. I was wrong, he was just freaking out over capitalization.
Psych101 9
27- Okay thanks. I was looking for the usual improper use of your/you're and misspelling of grammar (grammer). I didn't even think about capitalization.
MinecraftGeek 8
25- You aren't supposed to start a sentence with 'and'.
KiddNYC1O 22
It's allowed... ^
coolwhatever124 3
Why does that f*ck your life? They're looking out for you.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Pfft, I'd still run into it. I'm that accident prone.
gc327072 31
And then the windex crows would laugh at you.
abcdog123 16
they probably dont want you to ruin their doors..
Krirn 21
When you get clumsy, you should stop being clumsy and start being awesome instead. True story.
courtz94 24
FYL OP, but don't feel bad some people are just clumsier than others.