Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
DestinyNiya 33
Hey, Satan! :D Good to know you exist!
brookenicolee29 27
That's when you call him Satan's Spawn
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Comments (40)
Mr_Ziza 10
Convince him that his brother is not a cool guy
whenitdidhappen 14
brothers from hell
PenguinBitch 44
Well, it's better than being called the autocorrect version 'Satin'.
simsimbeep 13
I think its cute.
raphanne_fml 33
Do you prefer Sadako?
Aero_x 21
being an Otaku I actually understood the reference >_
Jellysweetheart 23
Well at least he'll learn what creativity means early? And not to trust his uncle
AFaye3964 17
My 5yr old neice calls my mom Hitler So just be happy your name is only Satan.
klenorris 15
This is undoubtedly the BEST thing I've heard today!
ModernZelda 19
Hahahaha golden.
mister_icicle 17
Let it go until your kid learns what Satan means from someone else. Then they'll have a breakdown from having called you Satan *the whole time*. :-D