Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, then I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said, “I wanted to try something new.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. Five seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
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Top comments
lovelyhippos 15
Where did he get the yogurt from? Did you not notice him stop to go get yogurt?
Steve Knight 13
Gives a new meaning to yoplait.
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Comments (16)
lovelyhippos 15
Where did he get the yogurt from? Did you not notice him stop to go get yogurt?
Kraths 16
Maybe he was just skipping to the creampie.
ahabsfan 17
Is he Greek? They have very tasty yogurt.
zhawk316 5
No they don’t
fjvitt 14
It will balance the pH...
RichardPencil 32
It's better than "I was hoping for something live and active down there."
Chelsea Grice 5
H
Steve Knight 13
Gives a new meaning to yoplait.
J15237 25
Wow. What the **** was your man thinking. Maybe he was going to eat it out of you or something?
Pycnogonida 16
This idiot has no concept of consent *or* yeast infections. Methinks OP can do better.
AnaBae 5
Yogurt helps yeast infections go away
purplepixie23 16
Poured yogurt? Have ya’ll ever tried to ‘pour’ yogurt? And was she doing a headstand?