Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
The dogs were on the table, peed on it without you realizing and you guys decided to eat on it anyway? Even if there's water, wouldn't you attempt to clean it up? I don't understand. There's more then a few drops. It's a freaking puddle.
heywood 0
...I guess urine for a surprise.
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Comments (101)
lyndis_fml 0
Dogs don't go on tables even if they're house trained. it's just a bad idea.
xnj319 2
YDI for having animals on your table. That's totally sick. I love animals, I have a cat and a dog, if they so much as LOOK at the table, they get in trouble. Sick, sick, sick.
beautifulskies 0
YDI for sure... who puts puppies on a table? Really? WHO?! Are you trying to torture them by watching them be terrified of the height as they look over the edge? That's the ONLY reason I can think of and in that case OF COURSE THEY PEED genius. And eew soggy bread is disgusting whether it be dipped in pee OR water.
Fraggle 0
Yep.. on the table... that's some great puppy training you guys are doing there.
brrrx 0
Dumbass. I bet the OP actually dropped the sandwich on the floor but doesn't want to seem dirty by eating off a floor untrained puppies have been walking on. Instead it just made her look stupid since it indicates that there were puppies on the table.
seb12992 0
To all you idiots who say "YDI for putting a puppy on the table" maybe he left the room to run an errand and his brother put the dog on the table while he was running the errand? Number 50, you're a straight jackass.
kellster 2
Read more carefully: there were multiple dogs, and no one said anything about the owner leaving the room. The fact that the dogs were on the table was a deliberate choice, not a manner of convenience. And if the owner was leaving the room for something, putting a puppy on a higher surface than the floor is more stupid/less careful, you moron. Either way, the fact still remains that animals should not be on a surface where people are eating food. Ever.
kellster 2
First off, you shouldn't have let even a trained animal on the table. That's completely unhygienic and disgusting. The fact that you knew that they were untrained just compounds the stupidity here. Puppies belong on the floor, period. Second, okay, so you let the puppies play on your table. You didn't think that just maybe it might need a cleaning before you decided to eat a meal on the same table??? Now I'm incredibly repulsed. Third, why would there have been water on the table? Why would you eat a sandwich that had been made soggy by anything? That's gross. Fourth, who eats sandwiches for dinner? There is so much fail in this entire post. Did you wash your hands between touching the puppies and making food? You have a lot of very dirty habits.
Shilokitten666 19
Op never said they LET the damn puppy on the table dumbass, its still their fault for not smelling the piss before eating the sandwhich but ur just being rude and assuming which made u and everyone else that said the op LET the dog on the table an ass, but that doesnt give u the right to assume and make an ass of someone u dont even ******* know, grow up and actually learn to read before u make an ass of urself
Chico_Batzwana 0
since when does water look like piss?
purupuru 1
How do you know what urine tastes like...?
Chescapal123 0
ahaha YDI for still eating a sandwitch after dropping it in water! (or what you thought was water)