Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
The dogs were on the table, peed on it without you realizing and you guys decided to eat on it anyway? Even if there's water, wouldn't you attempt to clean it up? I don't understand. There's more then a few drops. It's a freaking puddle.
heywood 0
...I guess urine for a surprise.
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Comments (101)
muchhate 0
YDI for having sandwiches for dinner.
killuhb 0
This reminds me if the movie vacation when the dog pees on the picnic basket and chevy chases character sparky is try to eat the sandwhich seductively to show off. LOL
DrinkBainne 0
As if you would eat your dinner on a table with dog piss on it...
facebooksucks 0
Nation Lampoon's American Vacation. Classic.
Mykeh 0
You have to train those puppies to attack your brother for bringing hellhounds to your household. Seriously, it can't have been that bad. 5 second rule much?
Jaxro 6
Do you eat off the floor? Most normal people don't put dogs on their tables. YDI for putting the dog on the table.
irishlassie731 0
Why would you put dogs on the table? And you can smell dog urine from a mile away, wouldn't you realize that your sandwich smelled weird? YDI
ozymandias_fml 0
YDI for eating a sandwich dropped in something you could not identify perfectly. YDI for letting DOGS on the table.
medical 0
Why wouldn't you throw away the stupid napkin as soon as you were dine cleaning!
camuba 0
ffs even if it was water you shouldnt eat!