Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
The dogs were on the table, peed on it without you realizing and you guys decided to eat on it anyway? Even if there's water, wouldn't you attempt to clean it up? I don't understand. There's more then a few drops. It's a freaking puddle.
heywood 0
...I guess urine for a surprise.
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Comments (101)
xiloveyoux3 0
I hate dogs.
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
FAKE you would 100% smell it trust me I know.
staceybby 0
what the **** was the dog doing on the table? :/
Lisimal 7
Why in the hell would you want to eat a soggy sandwich? YDI
skoolsuks 0
yummy yummy! lol FAIL. how could you not see the puddle of yellow on ur table? especially after you picked ur sandwich up with ur own hands.
robodoll 0
Nasty!! I don't even eat anything that drops on a spotless table. You guys sound like grade A trash and ydi for being such a dumb dirty person!!!!
BKids 0
ok so first of all, why would the dogs have been on the table?? and second if they had peed on the table, it wouldnt have been clear like water.
Shilokitten666 19
Table CLOTH, never said what color and its a puppy for crying out loud, they find ways onto everything without your knowledge
Hannah91 0
Wtf...wow...well you know you've had your proteins for the day...hehe
chanman 0
disregarding even the water part, why would you eat something that even fell on the table? Just put it off to the side of your plate.
augustdanielle 0
How did pee get on the table? D:..