Today, my girlfriend had one of her seizures during foreplay. She’s fine, but I’m not, she had my penis in her hand and while seizing she squeezed it so hard she ruptured some blood vessels on the inside. I'm now walking bowlegged and on medication to stop me getting erections that might cause more damage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard that she had a seizure and passed out. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has epilepsy. How did I find this out? He started having a seizure after I did a striptease for him. I can’t get my boyfriend aroused now. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML
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Top comments
Nhayaa2.0 17
A few years ago a friend of mine was inside his girlfriend when she had one. He had to call 911 so he could be released...
Ambrily 27
Bubble wrap the penis?
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Comments (4)
ahabsfan 17
This is why you should always practice safe sex.
Ambrily 27
Bubble wrap the penis?
Anzubar007 4
nah I think he means carry a weapon. keeps them safe from tigers. what? he didn't say what kind of safe sex
bleachedraven 14
bubble wrap 🤣
Glitterbaby2613 20
how exactly does one practice"safe sex"
ahabsfan 17
Start with a padded headboard.
Nhayaa2.0 17
A few years ago a friend of mine was inside his girlfriend when she had one. He had to call 911 so he could be released...
bleachedraven 14
😳
CowgirlWithHeart 16
I hope everything heals well! I also suggest you avoid mouth play because mouths tend to grind or clench during seizures.
Charles McClure 6
Yeah it could have been way worse... It could have been oral and you could be half the man you used to be