Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Repetition
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Oh yeah?
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Top comments
redcliffe 2
Your bf is awesome!
RadikulRam 16
Tell him "We're out of stock."
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Comments (127)
aron33 2
That's quite original and funny, you're lucky.
nuffsaidboutthat 4
So if you purchase the little schtichy he will throw in THE BIG STICKY FREE
kellyann260 1
Sounds like fun to me lol, at least hes keepin it interesting. Put a little spice back into thingss
Leslier_fml 4
Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!!!!
XanderJayNix 17
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your mon- aww crap..." *pulls out wallet"
Calingaladha 21
"Billy Mays here with the most amazing sex you could ever get! Just five minutes and you can go from sleepy to sloppy love-making!" Edit: I didn't see the Billy Mays joke had already been done. Apologies, FML.
andrew1994001 5
LAD
CrimsonViolets 11
One size fits all!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Not one, not two, but THREE WHOLE THRUSTS! But that's not all! If you initiate in the next five minutes, we'll DOUBLE your offer!
lowshadows 21
it only takes one easy payment to satisfy you lol.
imHighoffLife 0
'problem with that shedding pussy?'