Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I, a 40 year-old who has been playing chess for over 25 years, was beaten by my own 12 year-old son. To make it worse, I actually fell for the Fool’s Mate, which to those who don’t know is the shortest possible checkmate in chess that only involves two moves. Yes, TWO MOVES. FML
Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, I found out that my 9 year-old cousin logged into my main chess account and lost 1700 points on purpose down from 2300. Which took 8 years of grinding and several national championships. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I'm a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
This is why you play chess on the Internet.
CoolBroStory 7
Chess is intense.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
Lucia_Malpense 14
This is why you play chess on the Internet.
kenbarbz72 0
That would be smart if OP wanted a smashed computer screen and an even whinier son and possibly a trip the emergency room.
just_dandy20 2
Your son sounds like a little punk.
outoftown 27
Sure. Because slamming a fist into a computer is much less damaging. (Oops, a minute too late. Sorry.)
subwaysurfers 13
The good part of it on the computer is that it shows you where you can move and how many steps you take.
Lucia_Malpense 14
But the OP's son sounds like the type of person who would exit out of the game just when the opposing player is about to win. (Technically) no losses = no injured fists and computer screens.
RedPillSucks 33
And you can set the level of play low enough that you can beat it. Once you get better, you can increase the level of play.
journeytotheend 16
Of shit I messed up "undue"
sens3sfailing 25
And you can be best friends with the info button when your queen gets taken!
fuzz97 23
Yeah, that would definitely go SO much better. "oMG ITS NOT CHECKMATE U FUKEN N00B!!1"
perdix 31
Obviously! When I get my queen captured, I can cry all I want and no one can tell.
buck33 14
I have never been able to beat the computer on hard without cheating. I swear it's impossible.
CyborgBanana 12
79 - How do you cheat in chess?
JoeRogansBEARD 15
91 move the CPUs pieces around when the computer isn't looking
perdix 31
#91, I secretly bring in the Scottie Dog from Monopoly and call it The Duke. The Duke can move once during your move or three times during the opponent's move, and it can pee on any opposing piece.
buck33 14
91 - It can tell you what the best move is, or you can undo a move.
PhishloverA 14
No #1, then someone would capture his queen on there and he'd punch the screen
sens3sfailing 25
Sorry not info, I meant undo. My fault
Liammg 12
undo not undue
CoolBroStory 7
Chess is intense.
FlavorlessPie 7
Not as intense as checkers
wyattshack 4
Don't forget shuffle board
Psych101 9
Especially chess with live players. Reference to Community or Harry Potter, take your pick.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
46- The most insane chess is when it uses human lives. Reference to the Norway killer.
FlavorlessPie 7
*Sigh* Last two guys ruined it...
andyyroxx 20
Y'all just need some Chex mix.
Goldenchest 14
Live Chess in Doctor Who :) (I'm probably the only Whovian here... But wtv)
BunchieRules 31
2 - That reminds me of that Geico commercial where the loud announcer is narrating the chess game (I can't remember his name)... he can make anything more intense.
TITOSJ408 13
I was thinking about that also!
PandaMantis 6
I love Doctor Who, too. :)
CountDuk 5
Understandable. Chess is a frustrating game. I would probably have grey hair if I played constantly.
slurshies 11
have you tried introducing him to tic tac toe? ( I hear it is much like chess, but without pointy/sharp objects..)
wholikesbacon 9
I agree with #97
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
14 is a good time
mimi_animee 18
Sounds like something my family would do ..
howdeedoo 22
I used to do that, but not since I was four or five.
EagleDown77 4
You mean your daughter and it's her "special time of the month"
zandalee 20
No. She said son but maybe it's his special time of the month.
EagleDown77 4
It was a joke because guys can't get a period smh
astralvagan 20
Technically speaking, men do not menstruate..... But we do go through a couple of days out of the month when our hormones are all out of whack.... It isn't pms, but it is along the same lines.
wisecatlady123 11
That's just low, dude....
onlychildFTW 34
Ahhh hormones. The moon does all that stuff to them.
ebonyirony 29
Because calling their son a girl is really funny.
stevenJB 25
Lol my girlfriend ALWAYS beats me at chess....damnit. XD
ally123123 2
Hahahahaha come on always u haven't won once
izawesome96 8
This is why punctuation is important.
Sumalum 7
Temper tantrums at 14??
Emily9352 13
My sister is 17 and she has temper tantrums.
EduJav321 24
Hormones...
Argumental_Rhino 8
I'm 14, but really? Some kids are ridiculous. Makes me wish there were better parents put there.
yermum6798 7
you can't blame it all on the parents because kids have small fits of rage. hormones happen, also disorders and many even mental illness. consider taking some blame in life.
Bluekaren16 19
What a weenie.
Alan2 24
I wish 6 had made this comment lol
Bluekaren16 19
Haha yeah that would go perfect with his picture.
imavelociraptor 6
Weenie hut jr???
SkoomaKi 28
Hey everybody it's ALAN! Wait a minute, he's not Alan. PHONY, big fat phony!
duckiegirl21 10
He needs to go to Super Weenie Hut JR.
technochik3 12
spongebob is awesome!!!
EvilPotato 15
He should get some help for his anger issues! He shouldn't lose it over a game of chess.
amandajlucas2015 2
He's probably very competitive and a sore loser.. I happen to be like that and they aren't always the best combination.. I have just learned to win but however when I do lose I usually just walk away angry lol never really slamming my fist he's just a really sore loser lol
connerwonner 7
Cool story bro
Pandacupcakelove 26
50- I think it's a little bit more than just being a sore loser when he's slamming his fist and stuff... Sounds like he has some anger issues.
patrickalamo 48
Check mate. You probably had to clean up...