Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend's been distant lately so I told him he was not like this when we first started talking. He replied that it's because he was horny at the time, so now I'm stuck with his nonchalant ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML
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Top comments
FriscoKidz 10
I guess guys can have feelings too, but what kind of guy turns down sex?
dudeitsdanny 10
I can honestly say I spent at least 5 hours a week without a single sexual thought for two of my HS years.. It's what happens when your 50 year old Calculus teacher doesn't wear a bra. My testicles just retreated back into my body from the thought of it. And in the winter months? Forget about it. I was unable to think about sex for a few extra hours. Anyways... I used to jokingly tell my ex that she made me feel like a piece of meat.. But I did it with a hand on one hip, the thickest lisp I could muster, and sometimes threw in a z-snap, so.. Mine was obviously acting as much as a stereotypical girl as I could.. And I still let her have her way with me.. Your boyfriend's odd. Unless you always act this way, and only care about his looks and dick.. In which case, I can't say I wouldn't eventually get annoyed. Maybe. After a year of it.
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Comments (49)
BigOrca 2
I only no one other guy like that and that is my lil bro. he would rather play halo and watch cartoon than have sex and hes 26.
KLern 0
pussy
tayruru 0
Does he happen to have a ******? ;O
theonlysweetpea 10
What a bitch. Any man would break his neck getting over to OP's house.
footballur 0
I'm horny 25/7.
rezzel 0
now hes scared he cant perform lol
perdix 31
He probably doesn't like it that you seem to enjoy sex. Tell him you don't like sex and do it just to be with him -- he'll pop a boner right away.
skeetSKEET209 0
what a fag
amazingred 0
how can that be a turn off. what a loser of a bf...contact me ;) lol
iSwagggg 0
he wuVs buttsecs.