Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
If I had a penis I would so try that.
n_epic_fail 14
No you're just an airhead
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
takpaan 6
As well as it does not have muscles that Ivan control like an arm or leg
imratedG 5
Air head xD
xDefiant 4
I'll admit.. I've only seen my boyfriend in the bath once (usually shower) and it floats.. I couldn't help but laugh.
20th_century_fox 3
and he has just now discovered this?
alsgirl 24
Sense you no make.
radiariad 0
Dont bath w him.....ur basically soaking in both of ur dirt....0.0
nickdsmith 2
Had he never been in a bath before then?
xxsakuraxx 29
I soo did not need that visual!
AbbyMaexx 2
Boobs also float. So, I guess you have that.
friendlygiant90 10
I don't know how his penis floats!? Mine dives for the bottom everytime....