Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
If I had a penis I would so try that.
n_epic_fail 14
No you're just an airhead
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
stephanie911_fml 0
Oh god, I wouldn't doubt if OP's from my city in Kentucky.
Kueezy 6
Inflatable dick?
JustAGuy18 0
Didn't know you could do that....... Meh. New idea of sex position... Mm..
FollowMe 2
My penis doesn't float during bathtime! (Your name) xD
CallMeHush 1
At least he didn't fart then bite the bubbles.
katydid91 31
The term you're looking for is "Snarker"
monkeybanana 7
Haha win ^^
maxwells_hammer 5
It wouldn't just sink. It would just be submerged under water like the rest of your body when you take a bath. Hard-ons or not penis are not rocks.
sierrataz 3
He's how old and just learning that now? Honestly just how stupid is he?
Jonniii 10
Buy him penis weights for Xmas.
kareltje 17
So your boyfriend's got TWO airheads? Damn! FYL, OP!