Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
If I had a penis I would so try that.
n_epic_fail 14
No you're just an airhead
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Comments (167)
Nolnah 14
brb. I'm Goo try this!
evilplatypus 39
They float...they ALL float
heylesha 8
yes, but they all float down!
lmz1986 10
I was wondering when someone would think to use the 'It' reference, kudos. :)
LindaLee 0
He didn't notice that as a child?
itaimumwiro 8
My dick doesnt float
Steve95401 49
Maybe he still is a child.
daminantion 14
My girlfriend thinks I'm childish.. But what does se know, she's only 8.
blackstar994 5
I'm about to try that now. I'm starting the bath. :P
n_epic_fail 14
No you're just an airhead
idontknowyou123 0
I thought I was the only one with a floating penis...
olibuur 9
oh the things I'd do if I had a penis.
Darko21 5
Oh? Do tell.
evilplatypus 39
Number one on my list of things to try would be autofellatio. Then puppetry of the penis.
Collinscap20 6
Like what ??
imshadyxo 25
I'd definitely piss my name on the walls if I had a penis!
Airman1988 9
Personal Floatation Device
FYLbeotches 5
The penis of jesus
Chazyj 4
Isn't this something you do when Your like 15 and it just slowly turns in to showers
HetaliaFreak 10
*you're
Chazyj 4
>.< go away