Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, after laying down to sleep, my boyfriend seemed like he was having trouble trying to say something. After asking what was wrong a couple of times, he said, "I don't want to do this anymore" and got up and left. I had planned on telling him I love him. Saved myself some embarrassment I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
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Top comments
TheAnon1313 28
Damn. Just lay in bed next to him and **********, I guess. If he says he wants to get involved and sexual that night, tell him no, because you're all tired now from masturbating.
jenninator93 18
Sooo... **********? As long as this doesn't happen all the time it doesn't seem like an issue to me.
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Comments (105)
Tripartita 45
Well, there's always oral sex, and unless your boyfriend spent the whole day blowing himself, his mouth probably isn't too tired for a little ***********.
Montiphelia 16
Nothing like a marathon Monday
kenwolfy 14
NICE
ColonelCusswords 24
I've heard of sore penis, but this is redickulous
Coland 19
Trust me most guys feel exhausted after masturbating and would like to take a nap
ThrottleJockey 36
And eat a sandwich.
Yodaddy52 7
At 47, I believe the term is a "sammich".
fuzz557 14
You need to step your game up
photographer49 22
#33 OP'S boyfriend masturbating isn't directly linked to OP'S love making
HonestPie 10
Maybe he thought he wasn't getting any? I mean, if you're that horny and have a gf, you'd think you could hold out a bit to see if she's down with it. But apparently, OP saw jerking off was a good alternative to asking her gf.
NeatNit 33
Quality boyfriend you got there!
914smv 18
I hope one day you give him the same answer!
HonestPie 10
"You know what could solve this problem?" "Communication?" "Nope!" *proceeds to play petty, childish games*
thenetflox 4
I love that in situations where the guy is in the wrong it brings out all the "mature" dudes on the fml thread. If it was the girl who was holding out like that this comment would be threaded with "revennggeee" or "dump her". There's nothing wrong with a little good humor revenge.
Dark_Cecilia 20
Thats a new one
Mathalamus 25
Yeah, that tends to happen.