Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML
Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, I gave myself a major foodgasm by creating an absolutely yummy egg and mushroom salad with mustard. Turns out, though, that my digestive abilities are not quite as good as my culinary ones. FML
Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
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Top comments
Jendaflooid 6
Clumsy? Were you carrying a 5-course meal stacked up in your arms like a cartoon character? Did you trip and fall, with the various components of the sandwich flying into the air and landing in a perfect stack with a piano note progression accompanying each piece? Either way, that's the way I choose to picture it.
Charlie Given 28
So how did it taste? Let us know OP , sometimes bizarre food combinations can be amazingly delicious 😋🤤 I myself love very ripe banana & miracle whip sandwiches toasted and pressed 😋🤤 it might sound gross but it's amazing tasting
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Comments (4)
Jendaflooid 6
Clumsy? Were you carrying a 5-course meal stacked up in your arms like a cartoon character? Did you trip and fall, with the various components of the sandwich flying into the air and landing in a perfect stack with a piano note progression accompanying each piece? Either way, that's the way I choose to picture it.
RichardPencil 32
You shouldn't try to patent that -- the world needs you to put that genius idea into the public domain. It'll probably fix climate change, the Russian invasion and racism.
vchan 20
The world is not ready for this. Seriously : was it edible ? (No chance it was good)
Charlie Given 28
So how did it taste? Let us know OP , sometimes bizarre food combinations can be amazingly delicious 😋🤤 I myself love very ripe banana & miracle whip sandwiches toasted and pressed 😋🤤 it might sound gross but it's amazing tasting