Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
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Top comments
NukedaZoo 4
And that is a problem?
DocBastard 40
He can't become invisible. Therefore, he is NOT a ninja.
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Comments (187)
NukedaZoo 4
And that is a problem?
enormouselephant 15
If you can see him do it then he is no ninja.
detroitsucks247 3
What would jesus do? youre goddamn right hed somersault into every room! -influenced by Daniel Tosh
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
So that you could take the g off every ******' verbjective and sound like a friggin' badass? I'm lovin' your style, Noor.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
At least the boyfriend isn't moonwalking into every room... Actually, that's be freaking awesome.
Gregory607 1
Did he really use WWJD and GD in the same comment?
Delta2Almanac 7
I like to think this is how Jackie Chan first started his career of his own ninja moves
jacsoccerdude3 10
He is a terrible ninja if you notice him at all...
Futacy 30
That's pretty badass.
detroitsucks247 3
Well you ***didnt*** need to be quite so rude.
PinkieKeen 20
Somersault Man!
TheSuperSpicer 6
Parkour!
Sitaaboo 6
Hahahha I read your comment and your picture I busted out laughing after I read the story lmfao!
laden_swallow09 35
68- I don't understand why you're given as many thumbs-down as you do. It's a valid point.
walmartpaysme 15
141, read comment #10
omg36 7
That's cute as shit
analisemarie 12
104, when Noor said apostrophes were meant for a reason, she meant apostrophes. You know. Like on it's and you're or our's, those little floaty commas. Not asterisks. Which are the little stars you used. Did you miss that day in 4th grade where they taught us what they were used for?.
FMLKitten 15
158- Clearly #104 was using the asterisks to draw attention to the word "didn't" in which he hasn't used an apostrophe in an attempt to make Noor mad. Poor attempt, however.
MuseFan1991 14
this is cute. my partner has just got some new slippers and insists on skidding around the house. OP needs to lighten up
nic5x 24
There is no apostrophe in "ours" not that I've ever been aware of at least.
ThatGenericGuy 6
It could be worse. He could've gotten an eyepatch...
Naomimi_fml 6
What?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Pirates are better than ninjas anyway.
gc327072 31
2- so you think he's doing somersaults because he doesn't have directv? Interesting theory.....
Sinamoi 18
15- I look forward to killing you soon.
Futacy 30
#2- Oh look, a downward thumb! *press* no, just no.
domking1315 20
Oh 89 a downwards thumb *press*
kitkatmeOw 8
He should be ok, just worry if he starts wearing a ninja costume.
teameminem 2
It's just a phase I'm sure.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
It's all fun and games til someone breaks their face.
herpderpherpderp 13
how does one 'break their face'?
Futacy 30
#78- I never believed that there was a such thing as a dumb question until I read your comment.
DocBastard 40
He can't become invisible. Therefore, he is NOT a ninja.
ThatGenericGuy 6
Not sure if Borderlands 2 reference...
Glitterhinoceros 14
He needs Noor to teach him the ways of the ninja.
stephan18 23
Ninjas make you think they're invisible, they are not actually invisible.
gc327072 31
30- Nice disguise there. "not Noor" lol seems legit.
Soloman212 28
Wow, I feel like an idiot for not realizing that was Noor until reading the following comment...
CaptainDipShit 0
47- At least you believe that which is true...
brittanyrmh_ 12
He didn't know how to somersault before?
kathbutter 12
obviously not
walmartpaysme 15
Not everyone is good at gymnastics..
brittanyrmh_ 12
Somersaults are particularly meticulous
ballpython 15
I think I was age 2 when I learned how to somersault. How old is this guy?
Samandra 4
5/38- I'm not good at somersaults. I always think I'm gonna break my neck!
emag_eht 18
#121 go back and read comment #35 His age doesn't matter. I'm 17 and I can't even do it.
trulymickeyj 13
No Shit.
CantusVulpis 12
I can back walkover, cartwheel, pirouette, touch my head with my feet, yet I can not somersault. When I do I go sideways and look like 3 year old.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
If he was a real ninja you wouldn't be able to see him. I call shenanigans. I guess Doc beat me to it. Great minds think alike, no?
DocBastard 40
Please please PLEASE don't compare my mind to yours, Sean. *shudder*
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I suppose it would be a lot of pressure having to stay on my level, Doc. You're wise in avoiding such a daunting undertaking, for being my equal is no task for the faint of heart. I think you could do it though; I believe in you!
skyeyez9 25
Doc, my mom's friend is an ER doctor and shared a funny story: a few mos ago a man came in the ER complaining of severe abdominal pain. They had x rays done and it showed an entire Barbie doll shoved up his ass. The Barbie's arms were pointed upwards over her head. When he was asked "why" His excuse was "I was playing Barbies with my daughter, and she must have set it on the couch right before I sat down."
astoryofroses 9
39 - I think there was an fml like that too, except there was an iPhone 5 up his ass, not Barbie
CrewBoy 10
Well unless of course she too knows how to summersault and has the blood of a real ninja.
RedPillSucks 33
Same guy. He was using the Barbie to get the phone. That's why her arms were above her head
EvilPotato 15
6 good to see you back troll! It's been a few months.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I guess I just needed some time on my own, but it's nice to be back! I've missed this place.
star111 6
39, Why on earth was he playing Barbies with his daughter while not wearing pants?
GroovyGravy 7
If he is a ninja, then he can teleport into rooms.
Sinamoi 18
Teleportation is a common misconception about our people. We cannot teleport. We can, however, move very quickly, thereby giving the illusion of teleportation.
princessmollysue 9
#58 , well said sir
laden_swallow09 35
82- There's a thumb for that.
ciumegu 6
Sounds like fun maybe you should join him?
sharksfan48 13
How is that a problem? As long as he doesn't run over someone I'm pretty sure it's ok.
RealTalk0 7
Sounds like someone's jealous. ;)