Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
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Top comments
NukedaZoo 4
And that is a problem?
DocBastard 40
He can't become invisible. Therefore, he is NOT a ninja.
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Comments (187)
MolesterStallone 13
Just don't let him find ninja stars..
dancingmaniac 6
Thats so flippin annoying
riellllle 14
That's actually pretty impressive.
perdix 31
Tell him ninjas have to remain celibate, so he'll have to quit that tumbling foolishment if he wants to continue having sex with you. Most guys prefer pussy to pretending to be a medieval Japanese assassin.
Soloman212 28
I'm not so sure about that... I'd take Assassin's Creed over sex any day, although given that's not Japanese.
perdix 31
#48, given that attitude, I don't think you are going to have a choice.
ee13lbp 4
48- I'm taking it you've never gotten laid before then
Soloman212 28
Baboons actually mate quite frequently. I reached sexual maturity about 7 years ago.
KingCeltic77 18
Do they actually have to remain cellabit?
SApprentice 34
76- celibate*
enormouselephant 15
I would chose you over somersaulting any day, Perdix.
Futacy 30
76, yeah I'm not usually a grammar Nazi, but that is a really shitty job at spelling.
Warden1986 16
Shit, can't you both? That could be his grand entrance..
satanic_fml 13
he's having fun? FYL I HATE fun too
Accuraxy 10
Why are you complaining? If anyone messes with you he can take them out with his ninja skills:p
JordantJordan 7
Your boyfriends awesome XD
mrsmueller 7
That is awesome!
SkoomaKi 28
Ninja? More like semi ninja, half ninja, incomplete ninja. Only when he has mastered invisibility will be an epic, mega, super, ultra, awesome ninja of legendary proportions.
FMLKitten 15
Where've you been SkoomaKi?
SkoomaKi 28
One forsaken and depressing word - Studying.
samasara 20
Ahahah that's adorable.